September 22, 2007
"The Pink Panther has a dilemma: how to deliver a mysterious package to the Slobovian Embassy before 12 o'clock where there is a huge guard dog ready to tear him to bits." (The Pink Package Plot cartoon, 1968, IMDB).
I know exactly how the Pink Panther felt in the aforementioned cartoon of the 1960's because I am deeply involved in a similar "package delivery plot".
Here's the dilemma.
My nephew emailed to say he shipped my son a birthday gift via a package delivery service. "There is a problem, he said, "can you figure out how to get it to him? The delivery service can't."
My nephew's question is valid because delivering a package to my son requires "an act of Congress", as the saying goes. He lives in a large city, does not have a car, and works from sunup to sundown in a high security clearance position. Since he is never home except to sleep, he cannot retrieve a package during normal business hours no matter how many postcards they leave him. It is even more difficult for him to accept a package at work because of security issues.
The package dilemma landed in my lap to solve just as it had for the Pink Panther.
In the meantime, the delivery service in question left our son a note saying the undelivered package would be moved across the state line to a holding center.
With tracking number in hand and no other options lest the package travel to the wrong state, I called the delivery service. I spoke with an engaging young woman, Miranda, and she and I cooked up a plot to have the package delivered to my son's office.
Naturally, I relied on the "Pink Package Plot" cartoon for inspiration.
My email to my son with the good news about the expected delivery of the birthday package went something like this:
"Miranda from the delivery service and I are now best friends. She promises that tomorrow the package will be delivered somehow to your office. It is already on the truck today so disregard the new postcard when you get it. Let me know the outcome, and by the way, Miranda would like a job in your department! Love, Mom."
In the cartoon, the Pink Panther was walking down the street minding his own business when asked to see to it that a package was delivered to a high security embassy. Me, too.
The Panther went through all manner of things to carry out the mission. Me, too.
He encountered a guard dog, tried to disguise himself as a kindly woman, and tightrope walked on telephone wires to pull off the impossible. Me, too.
In both cases, package delivery attempts were wild and hilarious.
Epilogue: Miranda did not get the job, and the package did not arrive. Each day Miranda promises tomorrow, and each day I think of ending my short career as a Pink Panther operative.
Life is so entertaining!
